As tomorrow arrives, rendering today’s shirt useless, imaginary, residing only in the space that we create on the backs of waves, quickly decaying into the nothingness of the “PAST” I take a moment, if only for reflection, personal and fleeting, to replay the scenes from which i have emerged. The past 30 days have stretched a tightly wound cable around the memory of it’s characters, strangers in the storybook of the living and dying (mine, in any case), binding me to them / their extroversion of themselves. I remain determined to hang tightly onto the ghost of each and every one. From the gas attendant in Waco, Nebraska who cared / dared to share her struggle with addiction, out of, what seemed to be necessity, to the smiles of the bar tenders in Ithaca, New York who, despite seeing the very low attendance of concert goers, chose to greet / treat us as their own (kin). The players in battle for mental real estate are innumerable, colorful, and unknowinlgy determined for their ripple in the water.
Aren’t we all?
And with the snap of a band we awake from a (the) dream, seated firmly in a van that will (god willing) roll us back to the stoop of our families, animals, lives that we chose to leave, in pursuit of beauty and honesty (if i can even recall what that means).
These choices / sacrifices that are made by all persons / friends / lovers involved in the dream upon which i float are indescribable in their influence on me / my existence.
To the new friends that are dancing on the waves, thank you. Your support, kindness, open-ness, willingness have given me sustenance in more ways than i am able to describe. The changes that take place inside me are, without doubt, caused by your hands, be it good, be it bad. My arrow floats or falls by the amount of wind upon which it flies.
To the boys in my immediate and daily surrounding; what can i write to display even a fraction of the care / love i hold for each of you? This journey of travelings / singings / showings marks our 5 years together. All events, run-ins, musical endeavours that we have experienced together, through the days of our years have turned the color to brilliance. Your support / friendship / acceptance causes me to believe in the wildness of the world. Evan, Timmy, Ike; my world is a weirder / more wondersome place with your faces bobbing about inside of it.
To the woman that holds my spirit. Strength is too trivial of a word to describe the power that lies / grows inside you. This vagabonding that I do has just turned 10 years old, and you…ceaseless in your support, an unwavered island upon which you let me lie, buoy me up, drinking salt water to save another. Humbled by the abiliity to drive a train, using your own direction, traveling 125 miles per hour, while I skip rocks for dimes, in hopes of life worth the breath that it has been granted. I am a sap for your love, a termite in the trunk of your healing oak.
I return for a moment in time, a quickly passing image that too will fade.
This tour comes to a close.
Gracias a todos,
Joshua
Originally posted on Tumblr